“When I grow up, I want to be…” As children and young adults, many of us had an answer ready for this, whether it was a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, an engineer, an artist, a CEO, the president, a mom, or a ballet dancer. But as adults, how many of us can still assertively answer that? Most of us never really figure out what we want to be when we “grow up.” And here’s a comforting revelation- That’s perfectly okay!

Life constantly changes — friendships come and go, marital or love interest dynamics evolve, jobs shift, kids grow up, and loved ones slip away. As I send three of my four wonderful children off to college this fall, the echo of their laughter and banter starts to feel distant. Over the years, my life has been punctuated with a symphony of laughter, chatter, school events, and endless activities. From the first days of my oldest’s infancy to the teenage years of my youngest, our home has always been buzzing. Fifteen years ago, when our youngest was born, I left my job and devoted myself to raising our four children. Now, as the house begins to echo with the silence of the older three’s absence, the timing of this reflection feels incredibly apt. There’s an ironic full circle here: once again, I find myself at the crossroads of identity and purpose, only now it’s not about raising children over a career but rediscovering myself amidst my gradually quieting house. I now have a new appreciation for the profundity of the saying, “The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” And I am again faced with the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”

Preparing for the Journey Ahead

So, here I am, in a phase many of us confront — when the universe nudges us towards self-reflection, urging us to ponder what makes us happy, what our future looks like, and who we want to be in the next act of our life. As Oprah Winfrey beautifully puts it, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” It’s important to remember that life’s ebbs and flows can prompt reinvention at any age. You could be in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or beyond, and the need to reevaluate and adjust might strike. The essence lies in how we choose to approach it. While my tale unravels as my nest empties, the underlying strategies are universal and applicable to all of life’s decades and challenges.

Rediscovering Yourself

Reflect on Your Values:

Dive deep and recognize what truly resonates with you. These core values will guide you as you navigate this new path.

Acknowledge Your Achievements:

Over the years, I’ve realized it’s not just about the roles we’ve played — daughter, sister, co-worker, mother, wife, friend — but the accomplishments and joy derived from them. Celebrate those!

Connect with Your Passions:

Amidst the hustle of raising kids and managing a home, I had shelved some of my passions. It’s time to reacquaint myself with and rekindle them!

Reinventing Yourself

Embrace New Learning:

If this applies to your journey and your free time expands, embrace it to learn or try something new — take a course, learn a new hobby or language, or try a new sport.

Set Clear Goals:

Define what this next chapter looks like. The canvas is ready for you to add your personal touch to it.  Journal or create a bucket list to help determine what you want.  This can range from career milestones to personal experiences or learning opportunities.  Visualize your ideal future and assess your strengths and weaknesses to start setting clear goals.  Then, break these large goals into smaller, more manageable tasks, develop an action plan, and …. be ready to adjust!  Nothing ever goes exactly to plan!

Seek Support:

The journey is always easier and more fun with company. Whether friends, family, or joining new groups — surround yourself with positivity.

Celebrate Small Wins:

Every step every milestone is significant. Each small win is a step toward reinvention.

Maya Angelou once said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” It’s alright if the path of rediscovery and reinvention has its bumps. It’s a journey, after all. As I rediscover and reshape, I invite you to be open to life’s constantly changing horizon. Rediscover, reinvent, and realize the myriad possibilities the universe has in store for you. Life’s journey is full of excitement, and each subsequent chapter can be just as, if not more, exhilarating than the first. I plan to embrace it with open arms and a hopeful heart!

Share your story of rediscovery in the comments below!

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